********Back posting, Old Blog************
Well apparently people are dying to know how Disneyland was and who the lucky girl was. . . And by dying to know I mean no one is actually dying to know, but I’m going to tell you anyways.
For those of you just tuning in, let me set the scene first:
2 months ago the older bro told me that him and his girlfriend were planning on coming to visit and we should all go to Disneyland. He asked me if I could find a date by then. I guess in a wave of over confidence, I said finding a date would be no problem.
Flash forward to 1 week ago. Still haven’t “found” a date. Please don’t pretend to be shocked, it just embarrasses you and me both.
Side tangent: “Found” is a funny word, because I wish it was as easy as ‘finding” something. Like I could just follow some type of treasure map or even some set of clever riddles. I mean
I’m pretty good at following instructions and/or figuring out riddles and clues.
To be fair though, I wasn’t really looking or even trying to find a date specifically for Disneyland. In hindsight I probably should have been. . .
I actually should have just spend the those two months attempting to make a girl robot to be my date,think I would have had more success than I’ve been having with the online dating scene.
So last week I put out kind of a panicked blog about needing a date 911 for the following Friday. To which I got a great response. Though most of them were Arizona locals, it’s still something. I did get a few local San Diego people inquiring about the possibility.
(Big THANKS to SUSIE for getting the word out to her local SD girls.)
It turned out to be a bigger debacle than I wasexpecting. So I decided just to ask an old friend from high school who lives up in LA to keep it simple. I know we would have a blast and it would avoid the whole possibly awkward and disastrous blind date situation. (though looking back I regret this decision.) So I asked girl from LA, she responded with an enthusiastic yes. She even commented on my facebook wall expressing her excitedness for the Disneyland adventure. So in the mean time I politely declined the others who had expressed an interest in going.(I AM AN IDIOT.COM)
In fact I’m hoping, cough cough, that I actually get to meet/hang out with some of them anyways. . .
Wednesday night I call LA girl to just to double confirm that she’s still on board for Friday. Why wouldn’t she be right? HA.
She casually informs me she has a test on Friday, and probably wont be able to make it. . . . WHAT!? A test!? A surprise test? A test she didn’t know about 5 days earlier? Huh?? Is a “test on Friday” girl code for something? And besides that, if I hadn’t called on Wednesday night just to confirm, when was she going to tell me about this test? I’m not actually upset that this particular person couldn’t go, but more the fact that I am now going look like a super jerk asking people I had previously canceled if they still were able to go THE NIGHT BEFORE.That’s the first impression I want to make, first the guy that passes on nice pretty girls that want to go with him to Disneyland, than the duche bag that says just kidding, I would love to go with you, the night before.
So as expected the people I contacted the night before, asking if they would be able to go with me to Disneyland in less than 10 hours, shockingly, said it was too late to be asking. Score one for me looking like a jerk.
After all that I still ended up going to Disneyland alone! HA!
The brother, his GF and myself had a blast at Disneyland. I’m pretty sure it’s impossible NOT to have a great magical time. I didn’t get the chance to feel like the third wheel as most rides at Disneyland are kind of a group experience.
I was going to make this into a whole big part with hilarious observational humor about the groups of people at Disneyland, but it’s getting late and I’m getting increasingly lazy. So instead I’ll just pop in some photos and explain some highlights a call it a night.
One event that was notable was the epic adventure of obtaining monogrammed hat seen below.
Notice it says “Single”. Getting this hat was quite the covert operation.
First attempt, I walk with my Mickey Mouse ears up to the register, happy as can be, and tell the attractive 20 something year old female I would like to purchase this hat and get it monogrammed with the name “single” on it. Out of no where, this man appears, I’m pretty sure he was hiding under the counter waiting for such an opportunity to surface. This man has a grand total of three teeth and the three teeth he does have are shaped like broken pieces of cinder block. I didn’t know whether he was going to ring me up or try to bite me. He pushes the pretty girl asides and in his carny voice he informs me that it’s against Disneyland policy to have nicknames stitched onto the hats. I told him that it wasn’t a nick name and to please proceed with making this the happiest day of my life.He then asked to see my ID. WHAT the ISH? My ID to purchase a monogrammed hat at the happiest place on earth? Instead of making a huge scene, I just got a hat that said Steven on it. You win this round you three toothed mastermind.
I promptly lost that hat 2 hours and 6 minutes later on the Indiana Jones ride. That’s right. I’m a responsible adult.
But this did give me the opportunity to battle the three toothed hat maker one more time.
This time I sent in Gabbi, my brothers girlfriend. The plan, she would go in and tell the evil hat maker her name was Sing-Le. Full Proof. She walks in, pretends to be “foreign”, pronounces her name awkward, bada bing bada boom. I was going to walk in to the store to silently observe the process and see how operation “I’m foreign” was going, but then I rememberedhow dangerously attractive and unforgettable I was and didn’t want to risk the operation by being spotted. There were some tense moments, but this was the winning solution which got me my over used pity party expression of “single”. I think it’s still funny? Perhaps it’s played out?
This could have bee you! But I blew it!
I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m giving up online dating. Well “giving up” is slightly misleading, it assumes that it was working at some point.
7 Months, 1 worst date ever, about 200 dollars for membership fees, and losing my dignity is where I call it quits.
This is what I still see when I log into eharmony.com:
Really?? I’m on hold with nine girls at the same time? And this is the same screen I’ve seen for a few weeks! Not a single girl wants to proceed even past the first step, which is exchanging background info, say what!?
So here’s what I’m thinking. I open up my online dating accounts to you. Yes you. I still have five paid months before the embarrassment is officially over.
What I’ll do is give you my login and password and you can either use it for good or evil.
You could either “fix” my profiles because there’s obviously something wrong with them, or you could change all my info so it reads that I live at home and have a level 47 Mage in D&D.
I’m undecided as to let this be a group activity or just turn it over to individuals.
Suggestions? Comment and let me know if youwould like to have control of the accounts, and if you’d use them for good or evil.