Single Steve

********Back posting, Old Blog************

****Updates:
I’m turning over my online dating accounts to Ted and Jackie. Ted’s an old friend who knows the in’s and out’s that is Steven, and he recently just got engaged to Jackie who is an creative writing major graduate. So I figure it’s a winning combo. Well see. I can’t do any worse? I’ll keep you updated .
****

Dear Diary,

Been thinking recently about the idea of “Internet Popularity” and just how ridiculous it is.

Just some internet popularity stats. I’ll break them down at the end.

-256 Blog Subscribers
-497 Myspace Friends

I got a friend request today, and it was from a very attractive girl. I’m just as shocked as you are. But there’s more.

Believe it or not this situation happens to me on a daily basis. BUT 99.5 percent of the time, it’s some fake girl who’s new to town and claims I can get a free PS3 by taking a quick survey and wants me to click her web cam. But today, I was almost creeped out to find this girl actually “exists.” She wasn’t a robot!? So I messaged her to inquire as to why she, ‘random attractive girl’, would request to be my friend. Not that I’m against random attractive people, that exist, attempting to add me. I was just curious.
She messaged back with:
“I ran across your blog and you are soooo funny!! Hilarious!”

And that’s it.
So this got me thinking about two things.

One, since I have kind of a sarcastic cynicism view of things, I assumed her message was in “the code”. You know, the one code where when some ask you about so and so and you say “well Lisa. . .Lisa has a great personality”. Which is actually code for: Lisa is a fat cow who attempted to eat your shirt because you spilt barbeque sauce on it, last time you were out with her. Yeah that Lisa.
Was this random girl telling me I’m funny, “code” for something else??

Probably not, but it’s funny to think about it:

So I have no idea how I got off on that tangent. And I’m pretty sure girl actually just thought my blogs were funny and it wasn’t code for she thinks I’m fat. Eh.

Two, why can’t real life be this!? This actually almost enrages me.
Lets move this to a real life situation.

In real life, under no condition, would a random attractive girl walk up to me in a bar and ask to be my friend without me even saying a single “real” word to her. It just doesn’t happen.

I’ve gotten several of these random friend request(10-20). Some from dudes, some from girls. Some were attractive, and some. . . .well some looked like they had great personalities(see above). I’m not against the random friend add, especially if it’s because they dig the blog. My only complaint is if these random girls are wanting to be my “myspace friend” because they think I’m funny or what ever, does this mean they would be my friend in real life? Doubtful.
They would never come up to me randomly in a bar and speak to me, let alone request my friendship. How would they even know I spoke English?
I have to light myself on fire and start break dancing, just to get girls to notice me at bars.

My thought is I need some type of T-shirt so said random girl knows just how awesome I am and will approach me in real life.
Below are some prototypes:

Any ideas for something else that might work??

One last thing. Kind of on the same wave length of being an internet whore.

It’s come to my attention that you, yes you, are a thief. You are going to completely read this blog and then not comment. Now this isn’t just me being negative nancy. I actually did some math. Below is the actual myspace counter for views and ish to your blog.

thats it.AND I’m Single??
I get my jollies from comments.