No, don’t worry. I didn’t get a girlfriend. Sorry I haven’t blogged in a “long” time, my work thinks it’s cool to make me work 12 hour days, everyday!! Also schools getting pretty rough now a days, as the semester is coming to an end. Not that any of you actually care about Real Life Steve, I’m just saying.
So last blog I mentioned a scenario about getting a wink from a cute girl the day AFTER my match.com subscription had end, thus I had no way to “contact” her. Sure she might be a spam spot, but considering I haven’t gotten a wink/message from a normal girl in months, I was determined to do something. I let YOU decided what that something was going to be.
I gave you three options:
A.) Epic Facebook stalk
B.) Pay again and re-subscribe
C.) Do Nothing
I also got some funny “other” responses:
But the final results of the online survey are …….
You’re a CREEP
Well, most of you at least. 40 percent of you voted for “Epic Facebook Stalk”. And if you didn’t vote, I’m going to assume you’re a creep anyways, because who reads through my blog and doesn’t comment/vote. Yeah. Who’s the creep now. But focus, I was now on a mission. A mission to sort through the bazillion bytes of data on the interweb to find my potential one true love.
So I did.
Actually, wasn’t as hard as I thought, or hard at all (That’s what she said). Her match.com name was her facebook user name. First result on google.
So there I was, at a cross roads of decisions.
I went through a lot debate, but with the help from a girl saved in my phone as “Lindsey Dave’s girlfriend”, she helped decide to send her a message from “Real Life Steve”. You know this Steve, the responsible one, who’s not an internet A hole. This message actually went through several drafts before I actually sent it out, I was trying to not to creep her out. Obviously I failed..
So that was 10 days ago. I think it’s safe to say, she’s not going to reply. Pretty harsh, I would have felt better if she would have just responded and said “PLEASE STOP CONTACTING ME”. Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned the blog? Maybe the blog is a deal breaker?
Let’s pretend for second you’re a girl, and you know this guy, who writes a blog, is that a deal breaker for not dating him? Is it like having a lazy eye or something?
Maybe the blog is C blocking me?
Speaking of stalking, I recent got a friend request from a Leslie Parker. She has no friends, was born on April 1st, 1969. Also she had two profile pictures of 2 completely different hot chicks. Is someone testing me to see if I’ll fall in love with a spambot? Or maybe someone was trying to see MY personal information/pictures. Hmmm. Sketch.
I’m actually getting expert help with my online dating via the magic of twitter. This person with the handle name of @onlinewingwoman, stumbled across me and my blogs. She offered her services, sounds like a win win. You should check out her blog at http://www.onlinewingwoman.com
But I’m thinking she’s going to have a miracle worker. I’ve had my online profiles examined, scrutinized and updated by all you jerks many times. So hopefully she knows something you don’t.
What I’m actually hoping happens is that while in the process of reading my online profiles, she realizes that were perfect for each other and we ride off into the sunset together on white stallions. She is pretty cute…..but I doubt it. Especially now, after I awkwardly mentioned my secret plan. Let’s keep it professional. Unless you wanna make. Then I’m in. I’m JUST kidding. But seriously, let me know.
This is my last blog about online dating for a while, I know it can get booooooring and it’s basically me crying for 15 minutes about how I can’t get a date. No one likes that. Grow up.
Three things about eharmony.com before I stop talking about it.
Leave me some comments. Or else.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Tell your friends to join the facebook page. NO I will not stop whoring myself out.
Best of luck! Hope OnlineWingWoman can be a miracle worker. Be happy you have matches at eHarmony. My good friend tried the site once and was denied. Sad when you are rejected by a dating site.
dude, dont you watch 30 rock? the blog, thats a dealbreaker girlfriend!
I’m an engineer and I have single friends who are girls but they’re all older than you.
Poor Steven, your shambles of a life sustains me.
Raythar and Tina Dong…
We’ve decided upon looking at the twitter of the @onlinewingwoman that you should totally date her. She’s ok with guys who are socially awkward (you’re their leader), she’s funny, and pretty. If you don’t score at least a “date” with her (which means telling her you are just going to hang out, thereby tricking her into a date), then truly, there is no hope for you. Sorry.
I hear you can score some cute asian chicks at your local church. Fyi.
I think your real downfall was not telling her the name of the dancethat you’r doing in your FB profile, some think its the roger rabbit, but i tend to think “Can-opener?”
I see the plot for a romantic comedy. Lonely, engineer/blogger turns to online dating coach for advice and falls madly in love. He makes a move, it’s rejected. She breaks off all contact. He is sad, but wait… so is she! She realizes that she really loves him too. Throw in a chase across New York City as he is about to leave forever, mix in Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks, and you got yourself a blockbuster.
As a fellow engineer I can sympathize. That facebook message was a little creepy and dare I say “too well thought out”. You come across as trying too hard. I suffered from a similar infliction in college. If I were a random chick I’d be overwhelmed. Probably. Would not use a website about you being single in a message where you’re tying to meet a girl. Your blog is entertaining, but probably better left til later in the courtship to unveil.
@Matthew Boepple
Hmmm, can Angelina Jolie play me, I mean, if she’s available?
@Raydong
I like the way you think.
@JP
Oops, is dealbreaker one word?
@Raydong Ooops, my big-head made me only hear part of your comment, the part about me being funny and cute (god, I am vain); I don’t date the men I help though. Sorry if I foiled your plan. But if I am successful, he’ll be fighting off dozens (or at least a good amount)of women in no time anyway.
Hey look I’m back on the interwebs. Sorry things are still going poorly with the internet dating.
Keep fighting the good fight.
Or something.
Oh shit! She worked for the Stranger! Ask her if she ever reported stories for Drunk of the Week back in early 2008. Old Man Barton never got his shirt.
@Munday
Due to being the busiest person at The Stranger, Kelly O is usually behind on the t-shirt mailing, you’ll probably get it by 2010, sorry dude.
Audrey
What is the ONE thing women want from a guy the most?”
Many people might think it may be money, security, looks, humor or any of that other stuff that most guys tend to think of. Yet its Being a Real Man that’s the one thing women want; it’s a man whose real and knows what he is about and where he is going …
This dating coach thing reminds me of the time that you and I met a dating coach at a coffee house while studying for grad school. Then I left the coffee house and you proceeded to sign me up for her services, telling her that I was too shy to ask her myself. She called and emailed me for 6 months before I got her to leave me alone…
I wouldnt take it personally if that girl hasnt replied in 10 days or so. I requested my sis to be my family on facebook like 3 months ago, and she just approved it today. And we’re family! I dont really think girls spend too much time on the computer
Just wanted to throw my opinion out there and say that you promising that you aren’t a stalker makes you sound like a stalker.
I think you should totally throw away the idea of a spouse and get on with all the things you want to do; make the most of being able to be selfish without feeling guilty. Relationships aren’t that wonderful anyway- they’re alot of work, even with the only one in the world that understands you.
Don’t mean to be a downer- I just think you sound like a perfectly great person, and you probably don’t need to get kicked around by a bunch of assholes on the internet. I think it’s incredibly hard to build a relationship on the internet. How can you really know if you click unless you see them face to face, hear them speak, watch their mannerisms?
Keep up the funnies tho- and BTW- I think the blog is a plus, not a minus. A guy that is honest with himself and others is incredibly rare and any woman worth her salt would find it attractive. The others wouldn’t be worth the effort. Unfortunately just like men, women worth their salt are few and far between.
i love to date asian women because they are classy, i also love to date european women-,`
I made the mistake of mentioning my blog to a guy I was dating (a few glasses of wine made me quite loose of tongue). We’d been on a couple of dates, but after telling him about my blog he very quickly stopped contacting me. I guess he read my blog and thought I was a big fat slut. Lesson learned – NEVER tell potential boyfriends about my blog.