*DISCLAIMER** This is MY interpretation of this date. The following is based on a true story. My life. Please keep in mind this is a blog on the interweb. I DO NOT want you commenting on her facebook/twitter/blog/etc negative things, I’m not looking to start a blog war. Feel free to comment on this blog, in fact, I insist you do. This is only a blog. Grow up.
Now this is a story, all about how, my life got flipped-turned upside down, and I like to take a minute, just sit right there, and tell you how I went on a date that ended in complete despair.
This blog is about a date. What was supposed to be, an epic date. It was date between myself and this other single, attractive, funny, Hispanic, blogger that lives in San Diego. Sounds like my soul mate right? Keep reading……
The Setup
Where to start, where to start…..I guess I’ll start at the very very beginning. The beginning is, how I even stumbled upon her blog in the first place. Good question. I guess it occurred during one of my weekly creep sweeps of twitter and facebook. You know, creep sweeps, where you type into facebook something you’re looking for and see what pops up. Here are some examples:
So yes, was doing one of my weekly creep sweeps, when I ran across her facebook fan page The Dating Chronicles of a San Diego Single. So, me, being the mature adult I am, didn’t send her an message, didn’t make any actual contact with her, instead I posted about it on my facebook fan page like an 8th grade child.
The ball kind of got rolling from there. Everybody was asking when I was going to ask her out. This I had to think about, was I going to ask her out as Single Steve or Real Life Steve. The best advice I was given, came from this girl:
We were at a bar, 1, 2 or 8 drinks deep when Kelly told me I need to man up and send this girl a real email as Real Life Steve. So I did. I took the serious approach, for once. Here is the email I sent:
After that we set a date. I was actually nervous and slightly excited. Which is rare for me to feel that way about a date, especially after my last date. So anyway, we then decided that it would be a fun idea to let our readers make suggestions for our date. It was funny because she posted the question to her twitter followers first, and she was getting some really good legit suggestions.
When I posted it to my twitter, this is when I realized my readers might be assholes. I’m JUST kidding, you’re not assholes, most of you, some of you are just funny. Here’s the advice I was given:
So as you can tell I got some really good input about my date. I actually did get some good suggestions on places to go. I knew she liked Italian food and wine, so I made reservations according. I actually made reservations at 3 different Italian places in San Diego. I figured it was better to have options, than to not have options and end up at Peter Piper Pizza and yelling “Surprise!!” I canceled the other 2 reservations hours before the actual date, after I picked out the perfect spot….
The day of the date, I left early work, got my gangster fade, got my car washed and even bought some new jeans, just for this date. Like I said, it was on, like donkey kong. Later, while on the actual date, I remember thinking and probably saying out loud “I got my car washed for this!?”
The Date
I google mapped her place and saw she lived “6 minutes away”, me being narcotic about being punctual, left 20 minutes before I was supposed to pick her up, you know, just incase. I drove by the place, got my bearings and parked down the street. I was actually nervous for this date. Weird. I don’t get nervous. I can present to a group of hundreds with no problem, but one pretty girl and I start stuttering and fumbling my words, and yes, I get nervous.
I pull up to her condo, park, get out, and text her that I was “huuur”. On that note, at this point, we had not spoken a single word to each other, nor had I actually seen more than a side profile photo of her. I guess that’s how the cookie crumbles when you facebook/twitter/stalk/blog meet someone. I’m outside waiting for her, she makes her way down the steps towards the car, I can feel my palms start to sweat. She gets within eye contact range, I notice she’s even prettier in person than she was in her thumbnail of facebook profile picture. Dear Diary, Jackpot. Funny thing about the thumbnail facebook picture, it only showed her upper half, it was at this point I realized I had no fucking idea how tall she was. Turns out she was at least 5’11. Shit. The only thing that could have hindered this date, did. I approach her and give her a “hi hello nice to meet you hug”, of course I had to tippy toe, hoping she didn’t notice the obvious height differential.
Let me start off by saying I don’t have a height complex. Not at all. I’m 5’9 (well 5’8 and a half), and feel like that’s a pretty average height for a guy. In fact, I looked this up. The average height for a man is 5 feet 9.2 inches, and the average height for a woman is 5 feet 3.8 inches. FACT. I am average height for an adult male. FACT. She was 2 standard deviations taller than the normal distribution of women heights.
I’ve dated girls taller than me, not a big issue. It’s just, admittedly, a little intimidating.
*FACT: I drive an Infinity G35. For those of you that think I actually drive a white rape van as described in her blog, you’re idiots.
But I digress, she gets in the car, smells real pretty and we start our adventure. I start driving, on our way out to the freeway we pass her favorite club, she lets me know it’s basically TJ night every night. Sounds awesome. . . .
Our reservations are for 7:30 at Il Fornaio, a recommendation from a reader for Italian, looked good on the interweb. Here’s the view from our table:
We’re seated, we order a bottle of wine, and conversation continues. I thought the conversation was going well? I’m not sure. She kept interrupting me to tell me about her past dates and how they used to fly her out on their jets, but also how she “wasn’t impressed with that”. I felt like telling her, “well I go on dates with chubby chicks, but I’m not impressed with that”, but somehow I don’t think that’s the same thing.
She also felt the need to keep mentioning how her more recent boyfriend was a TV star. Not only do I not have a jet, I also don’t have my own TV show. Sorry.
I thought our conversation was going well? Apparently not, we both “checked” phones, and I saw a twitter update from her 2.3 seconds later…..
Awesome. I think it was at this point we both realized this date had gone south, but dinner hadn’t even arrived yet, so we had to stick it out.
Dinner couldn’t come quick enough, AND when dinner finally got there she stole my plate. I’m all about sharing, but she literally took my plate to her half of the table. This is an actual picture of her stealing my food.
She said “By the way, I’m going to steal your food”, so I guess that makes it okay!?
Dinner was delicious, the small amount I was allowed to steal away when she wasn’t looking. We finished dinner, finished the bottle of wine, and both “checked” our phones again. And again 2.3 seconds later I saw her twitter updated with…
I wanted to respond via twitter with “@sdlolo It’s spelled “whack” sasquatch”, but I didn’t. I refrained.Ftw! It’s time to pay the bill and leave. I’m sorry I don’t own a jet, but I’ll at least buy dinner.
We make our way back to her house, just as I’m dropping her off, by some divine chance, Mariah Carey’s “Why you so obsessed with me” comes on, I dedicate the song to her and wish her a good night. I got the old awkward side car hug, which is basically 3rd base, so yeah, it was pretty good night.
Would I go on another date with said girl?
Yeah, I think we really have something special.
If you want to read her interpretation of the date go here:
Chapter 14. A Leprechaun and Sasquatch
See all these social media buttons I’ve plastered all over my site?? Use them.
Your thoughts? Is she the one that got away?Leave me some comments.
I don’t think we were on the same date? Damn your version is funnier than mine…I think I should just stick to my day job of selling Real Estate…Can I officially call you my arch nemesis?
Here’s the way I remember it… http://www.adventuresofasinglegirl.com
Um, you read your charts wrong. She’s not taller than 92% of the world, she’s taller than 92% of women. Most (secure) men would find that incredibly sexy. And 5’8″ (and a half) is “about average” if you are still a 15 year old boy. Judging by how you treated her, it seems like that would be a “stretch” for you. http://pediatrics.about.com/library/growth_charts/nboystwo.htm
If she wasn’t so funny (NOT!) I’d kick her in her ovaries. Actually Dave would, but I would be okay with it. Actually no I wouldn’t, cause that would be mean … but I don’t feel bad about thinking it. So take that SDlolo! Ha!
laaaaaaaaaaame. that giant hooker! she was probably expecting her dinner to be served by a chick with her nude vajay out a la cheetahs. maybe that’s why she was bitter. you know what’s whack? twittering about your date while you’re on it, did anyone tell her to wait till she gets home for that shit. well you dodged a bullet on that one my friend, on to the next.
Okay, I just read her blog. hahaha. okay I guess I have to retract my statement about twittering on a date because apparently that’s what blogists do? I’m sitting next to my friend Stacey right now and she just said, “what was with that rapist van?” hahahha.
Sounds like she has some sort of princess complex. I hope that if you had a private jet you wouldn’t waste the fuel on taking her anywhere.
Keep looking. The right girl is out there somewhere.
On a side note, I find this idea of tweeting the progress of a date a strange concept. I guess it’s all the rage these days?
Dude, what’s up with the huge van?
She sounds like she’s obsessed with herself, your way to cool for her.
Just read both sides of the story. It seems to me she was over the date the moment you took off to the restaurant.
1st off because that Van creeped her out. She probably thought you had some bad intentions. Looking at that Van we would be thinking what’s up with the Van Stan? I mean Steve but I’m trying to rhyme here.
2nd You made an issue about her height when you met her. That’s not cool dude. From the moment you said she was tall you disrespected her. I guess your nervousness didn’t help either. Bro they’re just girls they are a human beings like you.
I am sure if she made an issue about your height, weight or look you would be like, F*ck you woman! Shut the f*ck up!
Gotta be comfortable in your skin and feel secure about it. Dating women who are taller is sexy. I’ve dated women who was 6’0″ and one that was 5’11″. I didn’t care if they were that tall. Don’t make an issue of it next time.
Mary, I don’t think she’s obsessed with herself, she just confident on what she wants.
Lesson learned, move on to the next.
1.) I didn’t pick here up in a white van. I drive an Infinity G35.
2.) I did not say ANYTHING about her height when I first met her.
My blog is actual events that happened. Her blog, not so much.
It seems to me like someone is lying somewhere in their blog or maybe even both. You both should of wore your helmets w/ the camera..lol, Not choosing sides just reading “as is.”
P.S. It doesn’t matter who she dated in the past. Sugar Daddy, Gay BF TV Star, whatev man, don’t compare her past dating with yours. Why even talk about it in the 1st place?
Shit why would I want to talk about my relationships in the past…that’s private and should stay private, not that I’m ashamed of dating strippers, sugar mama’s or actresses. Big f*ckin’ deal! In the end you want a good women that is right for you.
Good luck on your search for a woman who will respect you and love you for who you are.
Steve.. you are smarter than this dude.. wtf.. I posted the exact same thing on her page.. Tough love!
————-
So.. I have to say it, after reading both blogs I have come to a conclusion.
You are both to blame for this mess. What kind of self-absorbed nutbag tweets WHILE ON AN EFFING DATE.
Oh sorry perspective match, I gotta update my shit about whatever tiny flaws I’ve found in you so far.
Steve, get over the height thing. Single Girl (who I don’t know in real life) you don’t strap on your war boots when you are going to meet someone who wont shut the eff up about how he is self-conscious about his height.
The mistake you both made was dragging your blog persona along with you. Be real people next time, don’t tweet until AFTER the date, and you may be pleasantly surprised.
Agreed. Double Agreed.
Not going to lie, I was hoping it would go amazingly, but anyway:
your readers > > > her readers
Just sayin’.
I havent finished reading yet. I got to Trojan’s comment at work and couldnt stop laughing. hahaha
I’m totally with him on this one
Ok, done. and I read hers too
What a waste of money. I think the minute she started being a tool box, i would have stepped out and stuck her with the bill. The fact that you paid should have at least earned you a goodnight kiss. And yes, i am insinuating that she should have provided you services since you essentially paid because that seems like the type of girl she is.
As for you, i think you need to go cross country steve again. Nice professional girls do 5ks and marathons.
singlesteve! you are so funny. i honestly saw that you had posted your blog about the date via twitter on my blackberry and was trying to read it through my tiny little screen because i was so excited to read it. problem was, i couldn’t read what was on your illustrations (or whatever you want to call them) and since those always make me laugh, and add a lot to the feel of the blog, i had to wait until i had time to sit at my computer and read.
and read i did. very humorous. i didn’t read her interpretation of the blog.. i trust your word in it.
keep the good (meaning entertaining to your followers, not especially good experiences for you) blogs coming.
plus one for you.
I didnt bother to read her blog. Im confident yours is a true representaion of the date. Fuck it, dude, lets go bowling.
You totally should have left her there. Maybe one of her other boyfriends with a jet could have picked her up!
Whatever happened with the girl that never drank, was she preggers or mormon?
I never went out with that girl. I decided that on no planet could I date a girl that didn’t drink. Does that make me a terrible person?
no, that makes you a realist. someone that is not drinking probably won’t appreciate the humor in you pissing all over the wall at moondoggies.
So I gave in and read her blog too. Lame and self absorbed. What’s so special about her? I dont get it. You should have told her you were connected to the Mexican mafia, and in the business of hiring mules to run drugs from Nogales to U of A campus. lol. I thik that would have impressed her, definitely way more rad than a jet.
All things considered, this was your best date ever? A side hug is definitely more action than a high 5!
That’s fucking awesome!!! Sounds like a complete biotch to me! I would’ve said, “Oh, we” my last girlfriend used to blow me under the table before dessert…” She how she took that shit!
I’m only 5ft tall, so height has never been an issue for me except when I dated a 6ft 5′ guy… Things were difficult in some aspects!!!
Steven…. If there is anything I ever taught you in school besides drinking and being an epic prick… Always remember to open the passenger door at speed and tell her to tuck and roll. With any luck she’ll make it out like a stunt man and you’ll be free. Then of course I live in Korea in a basement apartment so don’t listen to me.
I read both blogs and I don’t believe you should have been live-twittering about your dates. But what do I know, I’m hopelessly old fashioned. But being intimidated about her height, letting it show and obsessing about it on your blog? NOT cool. Sorry. Your little graph wasn’t that funny either. (Yes I’m a horribly freakish 5’9″ giant myself WHO LIKES HEELS) There are more than enough short women out there for you insecure guys to prey on. Maybe you would have more success sticking to that large 92% pool of women of acceptable height to you.
Did you really thank her for being a giant?!? That should’ve been the title of your blog. My favorite part was how she gave up on the date, twittered about it, switched to jerk mode, and then got her panties in a bunch when you reacted accordingly.
Btw, I tried to use wikipedia to figure out what TJ meant:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TJ
It didn’t help.
While reading this I kept thinking… “this cannot be real” Ha! HILARIOUS! Sorry for laughing at your pain. Also, that chart makes me feel like a giant.
Oh Steve Steve Steve. This is why I don’t date women. You tell them one thing:
You: “Wow, your hair looks great today.”
They interpret it as something else:
In Her Head: “OMG What a creep! Why is he so surprised my hair looks good… GOD has he never seen hair this good? I’m obviously the best thing that has ever happened to him, so I’m gonna destroy his life by being self-centered”
Her Mouth: “Thanks!”
Gigantora just want to nom nom and eat all the food.
If she can’t even take mild Single Steve jokes, there is no way you could have made it to the abortion routine. Stay away.
I’m a bit late in responding but I have to say I really enjoyed the graphs. Although, if you pulled out a color chart on the date, that may have been one reason things went sour, lol.
I think you and I should go out on a date. I promise to drink too much vodka and make awkward passes at you while you comment on Twitter what a great racked lush I am. It will be perfect! And just think how much fun we would have writing about THAT date.
Unfortunately, according to your graph I’m the average height for a MAN but I’ll wear flip flops if that makes you feel better. Unlike most women, I don’t actually own 100 pair of high heeled shoes and would be more comfortable in my Old Navy flats.
Your thoughts?
Do it! I need a new blog to read!
In the mean time it looks like i’ll be reading about a certain date with a parole officer
Aww, now I just feel sad…
Don’t worry, Steve, there are more nerd-groupie girls out there than you may think. Keep looking!
That b*tch was hungry! SDLOLO seems like a girl that just wants to sleep around. Gross.
Hilarious Steve! I read both accounts, and it was interesting to read about the situation from both sides. I showed Anthon the blog and you know what he cracked up with the most…that stupid graph! Ay you engineers!
Jesus man look at those nails!! You’re lucky you made it out alive. gotta say though, she nailed you on date blogging front. Had you ever met your match like that??
It took me five minutes to stop laughing after you inadvertently said you were “being narcotic about being punctual”…you were being narcotic? Or neurotic…? Maybe that’s why this date went south so quickly…drugs came into play before you even picked her up
This girl sucks at writing actually. TAKE AN ENGLISH CLASS, DAMMIT!!!
And your Photoshop PWNS her blog any day.