I Want to Send you Flowers for Valentine’s Day, Yes You.

So here’s the thing, Valentine’s Day is rapidly approaching at the inevitable speed of one second per second, with every second that passes by. In fact with every word and sentence you read, means the day of hallmark styled coerced love is closer and closer. It’s science. Despite what you may think because of your assumptions of me based on this blog, I actually like love, and kissing, and cuddling, and flowers on a Tuesday, and leaving notes, and blah blah blah, and other romantical things that would probably make you puke in or around your mouth. With Valentine’s day, coming up quick and I know this may shock you, but yes, I’m still single and don’t think I’ll be having a ‘Valentines” for that day, but that’s okay. Valentine’s day is lame. Not lame in that showing “love” for a partner is lame, but lame in that “Every day should be Valentine’s day”, I know that’s cliché and everyone says it, but it’s true.  I won’t go on my rant about Valentine’s day, but in general, if you’re in a relationship, just do sweet thoughtful shit eeeer day. It’s not that hard (that’s what she said…..oh, now I see why I might be single because I say “that’s what she said” jokes to my own sentences. I also go on internal monologue rants within parenthesis which is probably super awful writing style. Maybe that’s why I’m single).

Anyways, I’ve done this before in the past and want to do it again. I want to send two readers flowers for Valentine’s Day.

You can read about it here:

Here’s the TL;DR version:

I’d like to show my appreciation for you guys/gals/other that read my blog. I know my blog is nothing huge in terms of the interwebs, but I’m still shocked, humbled and appreciated that somehow more than 3 people read this blog.

Here are the details on how to enter your name in for the free flowers:

  • Two people will be selected
  • Gender, location, age, marital status, etc doesn’t not matter. Although if you’re in a relationship, please make sure that I’m not going to get my face smashed in because some dude on the internet sent you flowers
  • One person will be selected at random (random number generator #nerd)
  • One person will be selected based on the “Reason I deserves Flowers this Valentine’s Day” box in the form below. This doesn’t and should be a huge sob story, but something like “because my 12 cats don’t have a credit card and can’t buy me flowers” or “My boyfriend dumped me last week for my evil twin sister”, or “SEND ME FLOWERS CLOWN”, for example.
  • You can choose to have them delivered Friday (February 13th) or Saturday (February 14th). For example let’s say you want to have them delivered Friday to work, so you can show off to your idiot co-workers, especially that slut Sara from accounting.
  • I won’t put who they are from on the card. So people don’t know they’re actually from a strange guy from the internet you’ve never met.
  • You must like my facebook fan page and/or twitter account, so I can tag you in a post later (read, stalk the shit out of your facebook profile
  • Submissions will be taken until Thursday (02/12/2015) at 12:00 pm Pacific time
  • I will delete all of the physical address information for all the submissions once the winners have been selected
  • I won’t let you know you will be receiving flowers, you just will.

Submission period is now closed. I will post an update blog soon. Thank you to everyone that submitted! 

Thanks again for reading my word vomit!

If you are going to be sending flowers yourself this Valentine’s day, I’ve got a 15% discount for you through! Select the link below and use the Promo Code: CUPIDFFTN. Happy Valentines Day!

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