Best First Messages Ever on Okcupid

You should probably read this blog first:

Thanks for all the “great” suggestions for messages to send out on my okcupid account. I didn’t want to send out messages that were sexual in nature, I’m not trying to be arrested. Below are the messages I sent out, surprisingly I haven’t received any responses yet.

best first message ever1 best first message ever2
The old Nigerian bank scam gag

best first message ever5

best first message ever7 best first message ever6

best first message ever8best first message ever4 best first message ever3

best first message ever19

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  • Daniella March 4, 2011 at 5:43 pm

    These are hilarious.

    I should send you some of the messages I have gotten on OkCupid… wow.

    • Single Steve March 21, 2011 at 7:34 pm

      Would love to see some real life messages!

  • Lizzie March 4, 2011 at 6:49 pm


  • Amanda March 4, 2011 at 8:01 pm

    I love “You look smart.”

  • Katie March 8, 2011 at 10:09 am

    You are so full of win.

  • Austin March 9, 2011 at 3:24 pm

    I think you just created a new favorite game to pass the time. haha

  • Kerri April 27, 2011 at 4:21 am

    This is hilarious!

  • Boring Dave May 15, 2011 at 7:28 pm

    Try this one:

    Dear Reader,

    I ate your socks. This is really unusual for me, as I generally prefer hats, but I had little choice in the matter as your hair was on fire at the time.

    I would have stuck around to meet you, but I was chased off of a cliff by a swarm of killer bees, and am now in traction and under medication for anaphylactic shock. You can find me in Scripps, on the 6th floor, room 66, or call me at (Steve’s phone number here.)

    Crazy Steve

  • Dees August 2, 2011 at 2:50 am

    Ahhhahahh! These are great! OMG I’m on match and thank god I’m not getting anything like this! I think I’d be freaked out!!

  • Sonya August 4, 2011 at 9:49 pm

    Oh yes. She looked super duper smart.

  • Steve (also) August 6, 2011 at 12:10 am

    This is amazing. I guess total anonymity can be a lot of fun sometimes!

  • JAMES January 24, 2012 at 10:51 pm

    I’m sorry Steve, but you’ve already been one upped on this one. May I preset to you, the online dating “artist:”

  • Sadie Summers April 4, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    That is priceless! Thanks for sharing. 😀

  • George June 14, 2012 at 10:22 am

    Steve… you are unique. Thanks you get the whole truth on the Internet.. Seems everything like a big fery-tale searching the perfect … unfounded.. love..
    Thanks again Steve that you represent all of us disappointed people.

  • Rita November 10, 2012 at 2:46 pm

    Amused….disturbed, but amused!

  • Summer October 1, 2013 at 7:23 pm

    It’s amazing how often some of those things work. Oh my God, I can’t stop laughing!

  • lol November 1, 2013 at 12:18 am

    That made my day. I’ve tried for 1 year – and have not been accepted for one date – yes 1 whole year of wasting my time on that site.

    I think I’ll be spending the rest of my time on there sending these kinds of messages. Because Fuck It.

  • Sarah July 14, 2014 at 6:28 am

    Holy shit I’ve received one of your messages before.

  • Post a comment

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