cL4

Craigs List Losers a go go

Hi. Hello. Shut up. Stop nagging. I know, it’s been a long time, it’s always been a long time it seems these days. I’ve been busy? Actually that’s not really true. I’m actually the least  busiest I’ve been in a really really long time. I’m not taking summer school, I’m not coaching basketball every week, I’m no longer President of a non-profit, I guess I’m just lazy.

Well actually there’s another reason……and when I tell you this, it’s because you’re in the trust tree, so don’t go and freak out, it’s not really that big of a deal, but you should be probably sitting down. Are you sitting down? Good. Well, I guess it kind of turns out I have a girlfriend? No, that wasn’t a typo. I actually meant to type girlfriend. Yeah, she’s pretty awesome, you know for a girl.  So yeah, that just happened. I don’t think it’s going to stop me from “blogging”, but obviously you will have to live without blogs having to do with terrible, awkward or embarrassing dates or the process of online dating. I’m sorry I’m not sorry. I will continue to “write”, don’t worry, shut your face. I won’t be writing about her though, she already told me she would smash my face in, if she ended up in the blog.  Anyways, back to the shit show that is my blog. I took the easy way out for this blog and decided to write about the uber creepers on craigslist.

Craig list is full of creeps. Not as creepy as you guys, but still kind of creepy. Yeah, you, you’re a creep. I mean, let’s be honest, some of you read this blog, this sentence right now, are reading about some dude’s life you’ve never met before. Sounds creepy to me, I’m just saying, but I digress.

Let’s begin

Oh god. I don’t even know where to start.  Let’s start with the title
Craigs List Freak

Craigs List Freak

Craigs List Freak

Party all the time – 23 (sun diego0)
I googled “sun diego0”, and nowhere is San Diego spelt with a zero. Nowhere. I can understand replacing San with Sun, as a play on words because of the awesome amount of sun we get, but I don’t get adding an extra zero AFTER he already spelt Diego correctly0.

“hey wuts up stranger hahah”
Either he think it’s funny to misspell “whats” or he thinks it’s hysterical to meet creepy internet girls, yeah, I’m talking about you. Or he might just be an idiot.  I’m willing to be bet, he might just be an idiot.

“well im alejandro im an actor and I work n go to school”
I hope he’s in school to be a crash test dummy. This guy doesn’t even believe in capitalizing his own name. Please go to school harder.

“i like to party, to get crazy every now and then hahah also I like to think im my future”
Why does he start laughing in the middle of his sentence. Did I miss his joke? He also likes to “think im my future”?? What the fuck does that mean. Does that mean he likes to think he’s his own future? That sounds like a pretty shitty future if you ask me.

“did I mention im Hispanic,?”
Did I mention I’m Hispanic comma question mark? No. No you didn’t asshole. Did you forget what you wrote all 3 “sentences” above. I feel like he had one of those Ron Burgundy moments…..I’m Hispanic? Question mark?

“mmm well I am im single and yeah that’s pretty much my life just a regular guy that want to find naughty love in a sexy”
I think at this point he bites into something tasty, which obviously prompts the “mmm” creeper sound in his post. “that want to find naughty love in a sexy” , in sexy what!? Finish your fucking sentence. The suspense is killing me. I can only assume he meant to end his sentence with “jail cell”.

Craigs List Freak

Leave me some comments. I’ll write more soon. Me love you long time.


Tagged:


Comments
  • Elizabeth July 22, 2010 at 9:36 am

    Wow. After reading the others, the last guy doesn’t sound half bad. I wonder if he was counting on being compared to the ultra-freaks of craigslist.

  • Emily July 22, 2010 at 11:27 am

    What is “d and d free”? Dungeons and Dragons free? I’m not down with the Craigslist lingo I guess.

    I also feel bad for that guy, what if his soul mate is 4’10.5″ and 82lbs?!

  • Austin July 22, 2010 at 9:27 pm

    Apparently saying you want to sleep with all the qualities that make a child a child doesnt make you a pedophile so long as you dont use the word child. seriously 4′ 10″ 75lbs? do people like that exist past the age of 12?

    Also, about time! I was 1 more minute away from getting myself a real life. thank god you posted again.

  • Zoë July 22, 2010 at 10:35 pm

    You’re BACK!!!! And happily in a relationship, yay! :) (genuine, not sarcastic “yay!” – can’t you see my exclamation point?)

    And yes, I laughed and laughed at this one. AGAIN. At this point, I don’t care if you wait months between posts (OK, months might be too long to miss out on this hilarity) but really, Steve, I adore this blog, always have and always will. Even if you don’t write about your girlfriend. :)

  • Nicole July 23, 2010 at 12:07 am

    Hahaha… Yes, “we” petite women actually do exist! I’m 24 and meet that creeper’s requirements… who knew my soul mate was out there looking for me via Craigslist?!

    Basically the first thing I hear whenever I meet someone is, “YOU’RE SO TINY!” The second: “You must be the cheapest date ever!” Yes. Yes, I am.

    Hilarious blog, as always & YAY for the gf! 😀

  • MissMelisaMae July 26, 2010 at 3:21 pm

    I tHiNk YoU R rEaLly FuNnY.

    I’m pretty certain that I have dated all of the above. Twice.

  • Hunter July 26, 2010 at 9:39 pm

    @Steve – FYI Lemmy is the guy that started Motorhead, which was a heavy metal band. Even moreso, this Evil in El Cajon guy is quoting a movie called Airheads with Brendan Fraser, Adam Sandler, Chris Farley, Steve Buscemi, among others. The answer? It’s a trick question – Lemmy is God.

    This guy might be cooler than both of us.

  • Claire July 26, 2010 at 11:16 pm

    To : SiNgLe AnD wAiTiNg FoR sOmEoNe To TaKe mY bReAtH aWaY-

    C’mere, I’ll take your breath away- by CHOKING you for making me read like that you little twerp!

    Glad to see ya back Steve :)

  • Jami July 28, 2010 at 9:42 pm

    There is no burrito is the mathematical equation. I believe that is an intricate part of what makes up this “no fatties” guy.

    I still enjoyed the post. :)

  • Trisho July 30, 2010 at 1:26 pm

    Wow,

    Your post proves my theory that ALL FREAKS live in California. Craigslist is creepy in general, throw in people from California, and well, it is just freak-ville galore! lol!

  • Ashley July 30, 2010 at 7:46 pm

    You should be payed to do this.

  • @Ahsherry09 July 30, 2010 at 7:48 pm

    You’re absolutely hilarious… and I’m sure any GF would do the same. But congrats on changing you “single life” situation.

  • Phil August 14, 2010 at 9:18 pm

    Hey Steve,

    Does dating in your 20’s in San Diego really suck? I was thinking of relocating there b/c I just finished my MBA and I’ve always loved the area when I visited. I came across your blog after doing a little search for more info on San Diego. Now some of your posts really have given me some second thoughts. Is it really bad across the board or is it more of an “it is what you make of it” kinda place?

  • Austin September 28, 2010 at 6:11 pm

    Steve, you’re suppose to be my mentor. This was a position delegated to you back in 2008, and you’ve let me down. Please..
    Write me a blog clown!

  • K September 30, 2010 at 5:19 am

    I just laughed so hard I cried.

    I’m glad you have a girlfriend. She’s lucky to have such a hysterical boyfriend :)

  • Your Hero December 7, 2010 at 8:40 am

    Why did you delete my post?

    • Single Steve December 7, 2010 at 9:36 pm

      I can’t take construction criticism, it causes me to cry. A lot. Have a great day! And oh yeah go fuck yourself!

  • Your Hero December 11, 2010 at 2:44 am

    Great comeback there Stevie! I would think an internet nerd like you would have a more witty response.

  • Post a comment

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