Halloween, don’t be that girl

It’s about that time of year again, the weather’s getting colder, the leaves are beginning to change color and girls are deciding which kind of slutty animal they want to be for Halloween. This blog is written for my female readers, all 3 of them.

Halloween is a great time of year, it’s interesting to think about the “fun” levels of Halloween as you progress through your life.

When you were little, its was fun, it was exciting to dress up as your favorite super hero or princess and go trick or treating house to house, so innocent and naive. Then in your high school years it becomes “uncool” to dress up anymore, everyone knew “that guy” that came dressed up in a mid evil costume on Halloween and got beat up.


Another interesting thing that happens, is the use of the word slut. I dislike this word. It’s awful. It’s the worst. I would never call anyone slut. Unless there actually being a slut. Juuuuuust kidding. Really. It seems like, for one day only, this word, might be okay to say to another human being and it doesn’t automatically result in an uppercut to the face. I’m not saying it’s okay to call a girl a slut, ever, but for some reason it doesn’t seem to carry the same ill weight on this one day. Why? I don’t know. Probably some deep physiological thing about society and culture, and feminism, I don’t know. Again, I’m not saying it’s okay to call a girl a slut. I’m just saying, it happens on Halloween. My observation, not analysis or justification.

I’m not saying that I disagree, am offended, or discourage the way ladies dress on Halloween. NOT AT ALL.  I actually encourage this type of wardrobe.  I’m just stating the way things are.

Now you’re probably saying “But Steven I don’t dress like a slut on Halloween, is there something wrong with me??” No, no there isn’t. Well maybe, I don’t know, I’m not a doctor. But it’s okay to not dress like a complete whore on Halloween. Really it is. You can dress “normal”, maybe a funny or clever costume, good for you. I’m not mad at it. BUT what I ask is don’t be that girl that dresses in the costume that scares the shit out of me. I don’t want to walk into the bar and be scared because I think there’s actually a zombie at the bar. That’s really cool you spent 2 hours making it look like your bleeding from the face! Especially considering were at a classy place like  Cabo Catina where I just peed into a trough. I just want to drink, and be merry. At no time on my Halloween night do I want to wipe puss from your face off my costume because you walked by me. That’s a fact.

Halloween isn’t about being scared, it’s about getting drunk and trying not to embarrass yourself while dressed like an idiot. Anyone knows that. It’s science.

This blog was actually going to be about what kind of guy you would attract based on what slutty costume you dressed as, but I kind of got derailed, but I’ll throw a few in here at the end.

One more thing, since you’re not paying or sleeping with me to continue to write these blogs the least you can do is invite you friends to join the facebook page. It’s the least you could.

Happy Halloween

  • Alex October 27, 2009 at 5:05 pm

    Looks like I’m going to be attracting mid-aged, white trash, over weight, hairy, cousin sleeping, gun wrangling, g-string wearing men this year. CAN’T WAIT!!!

    Actually…. only half of my costume is going to be a bloody mess..the other half will technically be “I want an STD”… what category does that fit in?

  • Austin October 27, 2009 at 5:46 pm

    If you are going to be in DC, you might want to consider driving to Boston for Halloween. The amount of girls who dress like they like to attract jerks seems promising.

  • Alicia October 27, 2009 at 10:48 pm

    I’m planning to be Single Steve for Halloween…does that mean I’m attracting the fat gun-toting “rocker”?

  • Rachel October 28, 2009 at 4:37 am

    I really love your blog. I laugh out loud at least once every time.

  • JP October 28, 2009 at 10:36 pm

    I am going to be kanye west for halloween and interrupt everybodys conversations. extremely drunk of course. what kind of ladies do you think that will attract?

  • Brandi Shae October 29, 2009 at 2:25 pm

    I’m going as PocaHOTNESS!! Sexy Indian it is. I’m going to look like I just stepped off the rez! The sex rez that is! Bwhahahhaaaa!!!

  • JS October 30, 2009 at 9:17 pm

    Gonorrhea, not “gonaria.” Just sayin because I’m 9 months away from being a doctor!! I’m going to dress up as either Lady Gaga (excuse to not wear pants) or a bunny.
    Love your blog! Keep it up!

  • Austin November 2, 2009 at 10:21 pm

    Even though you specifically said this blog was aimed at girls, i’m going to comment again

    I went as a douche bag from tool academy, and the girls really seemed to like it. They’ll probably feel let down in a week or so when they realize I actually have a good job, and i’m not really a jerk. 😉

    • Michelle November 11, 2009 at 12:24 am

      HAHA! Stop pretending.

  • Elissa November 8, 2009 at 8:14 pm

    This actually kinda works. I dressed up as a sexy sailor and attracted two guys from local army base.

  • Doot December 4, 2009 at 3:22 am

    I haven’t read much of your blog, but you strike me as someone who hasn’t been laid since you made this post.

  • Post a comment

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