Requirements For My Next Girlfriend #RFMNGF

I’ve started compiling a list on twitter of Requirements For My Next Girlfriend. Of course these are just ideals. Just nice to think about…

  • I just need girlfriend to do hoodrat and groupon things with #RFMNGF
  • She must be out of my league #RFMNGF
  • She must be a great kisser #RFMNGF
  • She must spontaneously take days off work to go on adventures with me. #RFMNGF
  • She must know how to “unzip” a .zip file. I once dated a girl that didn’t know what a zip file was. #RFMNGF
  • She must understand that even though I’m super busy, she’s still my priority. #RFMNGF
  • She must like to watch a little football on Sunday, or at least pretend to like it #RFMNGF
  • She must be the cure for my insomnia #RFMNGF
  • She must like to watch crappy award shows with me while I provide sarcastic and cynical commentary. #RFMNGF
  • She must like to cuddle  #RFMNGF
  • I’m just Jim looking for my Pam #RFMNGF
  • Have rhythm and keep up with my sick dance moves #RFMNGF
  • Sweat pants, hair tied, chillin’ with no make-up on. That’s when you’re the prettiest, I hope that you don’t take it wrong #RFMNGF
  • She must love Disneyland #RFMNGF
  • She must like going to the farmers market on Sunday. Bonus points for wearing a sun dress. #RFMNGF#RFMNGF
  • She must make me put down all my work and pay attention to her #RFMNGF
  • She must like (tolerate) having to go with me to my professional social obligations #RFMNGF
  • She must appreciate (tolerate) me drunk dialing her at 2am, just to hear her voice #RFMNGF
  • I just want an adventure with someone, everyday, for the rest of my life. That’s not too much to ask for right? #RFMNGF
  • She must NOT smoke #RFMNGF
  • She must force me to get off my ass and exercise. Sometimes. #RFMNGF
  • She must be always up for an adventure, even on a Wednesday afternoon. #RFMNGF
  • She must have a facebook. People who don’t have facebook, don’t have friends. Fact. #RFMNGF
  • She must enjoying volunteering and volunteer with me #RFMNGF
  • We must have continuously have funny playful sarcastic banter #RFMNGF
  • When I’m with her she must make me forget to tweet, check my facebook and make me not even care where my phone is #RFMNGF
  • Inside jokes that only we would think are funny #RFMNGF



  • AT January 29, 2010 at 3:04 pm

    These don’t look like shall statements. Some aren’t even verifiable. Engineering fail.

  • amysjoy January 29, 2010 at 3:54 pm

    These are good requirements. Good luck. :)

  • mikey the jerk January 29, 2010 at 6:30 pm

    I am really inspired by these I want to make my own list …however I feel the more restrictions I put on my future pretty face will only deter and make the challenge more difficult I like to think of myself as an equal opportunity lender…that being said my RFMNGF would be something like she must be decent and she must be cool …but even that is a shear impossibility

  • Andy January 29, 2010 at 6:50 pm

    Are you parsing your Twitter feed to autogenerate that list?

    If not, you should be.

  • Rebecca January 29, 2010 at 7:12 pm

    Damn, looks like I’m your perfect woman, except the entire moving to Yuma thing… I’ll keep on the lookout for a fantastic woman for you, however she’ll probably be up in the Los Angeles area, a little out of your 30 mile radius bubble.

  • Brooke January 29, 2010 at 11:58 pm

    Settle down in Yuma?!

    I’ve got one for you: she must celebrate Steak and BJ Day. Now that’s worth a #RFMNG

  • Sunny January 30, 2010 at 5:23 pm

    So what you are saying is…you want to date me?

  • Austin February 9, 2010 at 6:06 pm

    “She must have a facebook. People who don’t have facebook, don’t have friends. Fact. #RFMNGF ”

    hahaha True
    My current girl doesnt have a facebook and you are absolutely right. her ‘friends’ are literally just guys who she has dated or want to date her.

  • Kelsey April 20, 2010 at 9:37 am

    I fit the bill aside from the teacher bit. And you were SO close!

  • Rusbin April 20, 2010 at 2:52 pm

    She must be a “swallower” and not a “spitter”

  • Brandi Shae April 20, 2010 at 3:14 pm

    Oh is that all you’re looking for?

  • kiwi April 28, 2010 at 4:41 am

    You rang? Great list, unfortunately I’m a long, long way outside of that bubble.

    And completely agree with #10 – spitting is just so undignified.

  • A Blog About A Blog | Single Steve June 18, 2010 at 8:34 pm

    […] #RFMNG « I like you, I just don’t like you enough […]

  • @Ahsherry09 August 16, 2010 at 6:26 pm

    Awesome list….

  • Sarah March 16, 2011 at 11:27 pm

    If I didn’t live on the east coast, I would offer to be your next girlfriend.

    Evidence of me being awesome:

    Evidence of me enjoying traveling/adventures:

  • Elese May 12, 2011 at 5:50 am

    hahahaaha…yes..i secretly super like that Drake song.

  • Boring Dave May 15, 2011 at 6:49 pm

    It’s official: guys like girls best without makeup. Two guys agree on this, so it must be the Absolute Incontrovertible Truth.

    All you girls who wear makeup to impress guys? You’re idiots.

    All you girls who wear it because you like the feel of those volatile chemicals mutating your skin cells into cancerous forms?

    Wear it on your other end. That way we don’t have to look at it unless you decide to go as far as third base with us, which means that I at least will never have to see it. As an added bonus, when you brush me off, I can console myself at having avoided it.

    P.S., high heels look stupid too, and also make you walk like you have a nerve disease.

    • elese May 23, 2011 at 7:23 pm

      iI meant to like this comment…not dislike it.

  • Dawn Dash July 22, 2011 at 4:28 pm

    I have a list too! It goes a little something like this…
    1) He must have a heartbeat.
    That’s about as far as I’ve gotten so far.

  • Joe Blow September 27, 2015 at 6:13 am

    I like hot girls who would never have anything to do with me since I am a fat ugly worthless misogynistic racist troll who wastes his time on 4chan.

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