Posts Tagged Pacific Beach
PB Millionaire, or is it PB Reality? Or is it you’re still a tool?
Posted by Single Steve in PB Millionaire on February 27, 2010
Preface
Yep. Another fucking preface. I’m sorry I’m not sorry. I just have some stuff I want to say that’s not really related to the “blog”, so here it is. What I wanted to declare for all to hear that I am never going to date another “blogger” again. What a disaster. As I’m sure some of you recall I went on a date with “The Dating Chronicles of a San Diego Single” girl. On paper she sounded okay, she was single, mildly entertaining, lived in San Diego and more importantly willing to go on a “date” with me. So I’m sure you read my side of the date and her side of the date. The problem with her side of the blog, is that it sits on a thrown of lies. Usually I wouldn’t feel the need to defend or refute comments but people are idiots and apparently I need clarify a few things. Also I get hate comments I have to delete on my blog, which is just getting annoying, so here’s some facts about the date:
1.) NO I did NOT pick her up in a white van.
When I read that, I thought it was funny, “ha ha ha”, I thought it was so outrageous that people would understand that it was obviously a joke, but then people started believing I ACTUALLY picked her up in a white van for date. I can understand people I don’t know in “real life”, thinking, yeah, maybe he did pick her up in a white van, but when people I see on a daily basis think I picked her up in a white van, that’s when I get concerned. You think I traded in my car for a rape van just for this date!? For the record I drive an Infinity G-35.
2.) I DID NOT call her tall when I first met her.
She said in her blog that when I first met her I said “Wow, you ARE tall”. False.
Although I did thank her for being a giant, but at this point we were having so much fun it was totally acceptable. Yeah, another thing, the date was fun, we had a blast, we were tweeting another story for fun, which is our fault, we let out internet egos get in the way.
3.) I never offered to take her to Subway.
Really? People are dumb if they think I would actually go on a date to subway.
There it is, out in open. We haven’t spoke/text/tweeted since the date, so I’m pretty sure were probably never going to see each other again. Which is a shame because she was actually pretty cool in real life. On to the blog…..
PB Millionaire, or is it PB Reality? Or is it you’re still a tool?
In my opinion……..I don’t even know where to begin. I actually kind of want to begin this blog by punching myself in the eyes, but I remember that I have a low threshold for pain and it would probably be really difficult to type when my eyes are swollen shut. Why do I want to start this blog by punching myself in the face you ask? Well, it’s because I just spent the last 23 minutes of life, eye fucking the shit out of the PB Millionaire’s terrible terrible website. I wanted to get an update to what’s new and exciting with the douchest guy in “PB”, and it was one of those things where I just wanted to look away but couldn’t. You know like 2 girls 1 cup type of thing, you want to look away, but you can’t. You just can’t. Anyways, our friend, the PB Millionaire is at it again and I’ve got some tales to share with you. I just ruined 23 minutes of life, and hundred brains cells in order to gather information for the purposes of this blog. The things I do for you people.
Okay were going to make this as interactive as possible, let’s start with this, first step is for everyone to get in front of a computer. Okay, let me know when you there. Ready? Okay, now open a web browser of your choice, except Internet Explorer. Not because it won’t work in Internet Explorer, but seriously who uses IE anymore? From a nerd stand point, it just sucks, please get a real one. I’ve also discovered www.SingleSteve.com doesn’t work correctly in IE 6 or earlier, so if you are using IE 6.0 or earlier, we can’t be friends. But I digress. Focus. In the web browser address, navigate to:
http://www.pbmillionaire.com/
Notice…..the web address is now…
http://www.pbreality.com/
Whaaaaa. What’s this? Interweb magic. I know right. Apparently he is no longer the “PB Millionaire” douche bag, but now he’s branding this “PB Reality” garbage. Me thinks he’s not as rich as he seems. I guess “PB 35k-a-year-ionaire” doesn’t really have the same ring.Let’s dig deeper into this, so “PB millionaire” used to stand for “Philanthropist Bachelor Millionaire”, right? At least he used to pretend to be philanthropic while he was creeping on girls half his age. I searched the website and couldn’t find any more references to PB standing for “Philanthropic Bachelor”…..interesting. Where did it go?
Which leads me to exhibit A: a video I found of him on NBC San Diego from this years Street Scene. Play and read my time stamped comments as I walk you though this completely social awkward video.
I’m sorry for making you sit through that video. Kind of.
The highlight for me was when he basically said one of his assistants has fucked up teeth. So basically Philanthropist Bachelor is out the window, and he’s now pushing his reality show. Awesome.
So navigating back to his home page, notice the silence of your computer is interrupted by his music that starts playing automatically. Doesn’t he know how fucking annoying it is to go to a website and have music automatically start playing!? If I went to google.com and music started to play every single time, I would punt my computer into the face of the guy that’s responsible for that code. I’m just saying, it would be pretty fucking annoying. And I’m pretty sure HE DOES NOT own rights to that song to have it playing his website. But I digress, let’s take a look at “Here’s What’s Happening”.
Ruh roh Scooby, looks like PB millionaire has a girlfriend? Or at least had a date for Valentine’s Day.
I guess I’m just jealous because I spent my Valentines on an “Anti-Valentines” bar crawl in pacific beach. I may or may not have blacked out, and woke up at 1am covered in Wendy’s….Happy Valentine’s Day to me! It wasn’t my finest moment.
Next I’ll walk you through some of his more recent photos. He recently had a Christmas party, what from what I can tell you weren’t invited unless you were in a slutty Christmas costume. Sounds more like Halloween.
Also, for being really rich, I don’t know why he doesn’t invest in a copy of Photoshop.
His birthday looked fun, but my birthday celebration is way better. I’m just saying. It’s in conjunction with a friend, and we always do an epic bar crawl (Mid April, SAVE THE DATE). The best bar crawl you will ever go on, minus one’s hosted by CrawlPB.
I’m not sure why I made that collage, probably because I have the attention span of an infant and forget I’m in the middle of writing a blog. But let’s get back to bashing our friend, PB Millionaire, shall we.
Here’s all I’m going to say about his super bowl party:
It looks like he finally found his 4th angel. Good for him.
It got me thinking, if I could pick, who would my 4 angels be.
So there you go, now you know my type. Let me know if you think there’s anyone that you think would be good for me.
Also NO WHERE on his site does he mention a single thing he does to help or better the community. Not a single fucking thing. Alright I’m done bashing the PB Millionaire. I promise I’m not a jerk, I just play one on the internet.
In my opinion….. Leave me comments. Do it.
Vote for me!
Preface
Yep. Another fucking preface. I’m sorry I’m not sorry. I just have some stuff I want to say that’s not really related to the “blog”, so here it is. What I wanted to declare for all to hear that I am never going to date another “blogger” again. What a disaster. As I’m sure some of you recall I went on a date with “The Dating Chronicles of a San Diego Single” girl. On paper she sounded okay, she was single, mildly entertaining, lived in San Diego and more importantly willing to go on a “date” with me. So I’m sure you read my side of the date and her side of the date. The problem with her side of the blog, is that it sits on a thrown of lies. Usually I wouldn’t feel the need to defend or refute comments but people are idiots and apparently I need clarify a few things. Also I get hate comments I have to delete on my blog, which is just getting annoying, so here’s some facts about the date:
1.) NO I did NOT pick her up in a white van.
When I read that, I thought it was funny, “ha ha ha”, I thought it was so outrageous that people would understand that it was obviously a joke, but then people started believing I ACTUALLY picked her up in a white van for date. I can understand people I don’t know in “real life”, thinking, yeah, maybe he did pick her up in a white van, but when people I see on a daily basis think I picked her up in a white van, that’s when I get concerned. You think I traded in my car for a rape van just for this date!? For the record I drive an Infinity G-35.
2.) I DID NOT call her tall when I first met her.
She said in her blog that when I first met her I said “Wow, you ARE tall”. False.
Although I did thank her for being a giant, but at this point we were having so much fun it was totally acceptable. Yeah, another thing, the date was fun, we had a blast, we were tweeting another story for fun, which is our fault, we let out internet egos get in the way.
3.) I never offered to take her to Subway.
Really? People are dumb if they think I would actually go on a date to subway.
There it is, out in open. We haven’t spoke/text/tweeted since the date, so I’m pretty sure were probably never going to see each other again. Which is a shame because she was actually pretty cool in real life. On to the blog…..
PB Millionaire, or is it PB Reality? Or is it you’re still a tool?
In my opinion……..I don’t even know where to begin. I actually kind of want to begin this blog by punching myself in the eyes, but I remember that I have a low threshold for pain and it would probably be really difficult to type when my eyes are swollen shut. Why do I want to start this blog by punching myself in the face you ask? Well, it’s because I just spent the last 23 minutes of life, eye fucking the shit out of the PB Millionaire’s terrible terrible website. I wanted to get an update to what’s new and exciting with the douchest guy in “PB”, and it was one of those things where I just wanted to look away but couldn’t. You know like 2 girls 1 cup type of thing, you want to look away, but you can’t. You just can’t. Anyways, our friend, the PB Millionaire is at it again and I’ve got some tales to share with you. I just ruined 23 minutes of life, and hundred brains cells in order to gather information for the purposes of this blog. The things I do for you people.
Okay were going to make this as interactive as possible, let’s start with this, first step is for everyone to get in front of a computer. Okay, let me know when you there. Ready? Okay, now open a web browser of your choice, except Internet Explorer. Not because it won’t work in Internet Explorer, but seriously who uses IE anymore? From a nerd stand point, it just sucks, please get a real one. I’ve also discovered www.SingleSteve.com doesn’t work correctly in IE 6 or earlier, so if you are using IE 6.0 or earlier, we can’t be friends. But I digress. Focus. In the web browser address, navigate to:
http://www.pbmillionaire.com/
Notice…..the web address is now…
http://www.pbreality.com/
Whaaaaa. What’s this? Interweb magic. I know right. Apparently he is no longer the “PB Millionaire” douche bag, but now he’s branding this “PB Reality” garbage. Me thinks he’s not as rich as he seems. I guess “PB 35k-a-year-ionaire” doesn’t really have the same ring.
Let’s dig deeper into this, so “PB millionaire” used to stand for “Philanthropist Bachelor Millionaire”, right? At least he used to pretend to be philanthropic while he was creeping on girls half his age. I searched the website and couldn’t find any more references to PB standing for “Philanthropic Bachelor”…..interesting. Where did it go?
Which leads me to exhibit A: a video I found of him on NBC San Diego from this years Street Scene. Play and read my time stamped comments as I walk you though this completely social awkward video.
I’m sorry for making you sit through that video. Kind of.
The highlight for me was when he basically said one of his assistants has fucked up teeth. So basically Philanthropist Bachelor is out the window, and he’s now pushing his reality show. Awesome.
So navigating back to his home page, notice the silence of your computer is interrupted by his music that starts playing automatically. Doesn’t he know how fucking annoying it is to go to a website and have music automatically start playing!? If I went to google.com and music started to play every single time, I would punt my computer into the face of the guy that’s responsible for that code. I’m just saying, it would be pretty fucking annoying. And I’m pretty sure HE DOES NOT own rights to that song to have it playing his website. But I digress, let’s take a look at “Here’s What’s Happening”.
Ruh roh Scooby, looks like PB millionaire has a girlfriend? Or at least had a date for Valentine’s Day.
I guess I’m just jealous because I spent my Valentines on an “Anti-Valentines” bar crawl in pacific beach. I may or may not have blacked out, and woke up at 1am covered in Wendy’s….Happy Valentine’s Day to me! It wasn’t my finest moment.
Next I’ll walk you through some of his more recent photos. He recently had a Christmas party, what from what I can tell you weren’t invited unless you were in a slutty Christmas costume. Sounds more like Halloween.
Also, for being really rich, I don’t know why he doesn’t invest in a copy of Photoshop.
His birthday looked fun, but my birthday celebration is way better. I’m just saying. It’s in conjunction with a friend, and we always do an epic bar crawl (Mid April, SAVE THE DATE). The best bar crawl you will ever go on, minus one’s hosted by CrawlPB.
I’m not sure why I made that collage, probably because I have the attention span of an infant and forget I’m in the middle of writing a blog. But let’s get back to bashing our friend, PB Millionaire, shall we.
Here’s all I’m going to say about his super bowl party:
It looks like he finally got a 4th angel. Good for him. It got me thinking, if I could pick, who would my 4 angels be.
So there you go, now you know my type. Let me know if you think there’s anyone that you think would be good for me.
Also NO WHERE on his site does he mention a single thing he does to help or better the community. Not a single fucking thing. Alright I’m done bashing the PB Millionaire. I promise I’m not a jerk, I just play one on the internet.
In my opinion….. Leave me comments. Do it.
Halloween, don't be that girl
It’s about that time of year again, the weather’s getting colder, the leaves are beginning to change color and girls are deciding which kind of slutty animal they want to be for Halloween. This blog is written for my female readers, all 3 of them.
Actually before I get into my post, I want to take a ten second break and send a friendly reminder to all my readers of this blog:
The Most Important Single Steve blog You Will EVER Read. EVER.
Basically the cliff note’s of the blog is Real Life Steve is not an assshole, well, not all the time, and Single Steve is a complete asshole. So when you read this, don’t think of the funny, attractive, smart, strong, modest, sensitive, nice, modest guy you know in real life, instead, read this as just some guy on the interweb with a web page. I know we’ve had this talk before, but people seem to have brain damage and can’t separate the two. Basically I want to be as ha-larlious as possible, and that involves me being a super jerk, but I still hold back because I fear people will associate these words with real life me. I not saying everyone that reads this blog has brain damage, just like 85 percent of you guys. You know who you are. I’m surprised most of the people that come to my webpage even know how to read, but that’s why I include so many pictures, so you can still pretend you know what’s going on, but I digress…
Penis penis penis, vagina vagina vagina. See, just some random words, some dude on the internet says. I’m about to use the word slut about 1000 times, just a heads up.
Where was I? Oh yeah, sluts. Halloween sluts. Halloween is a great time of year, it’s interesting to think about the “fun” levels of Halloween as you progress through your life.
When you’re little, probably 5-10 years old, its fun and exciting to dress up like your favorite super hero or princess and go trick or treating house to house, so innocent and naive. Then in your high school years it becomes “uncool” to dress up anymore, everyone knew “that guy” that came dressed up in a mid evil costume on Halloween and got beat up.
Then fun levels really pick up at 18, when you’re away from parents at college, every costume now gets prefixed with the word “sexy”, which is actually just code for “I can be a hoe and you can’t say anything”.
When I say slut, in no way shape or form is that an insult or meant to be a degrading comment. In this context. Halloween makes it okay. It’s actually kind of a complement I would say. Somehow, magically I can walk up to a girl (probably one that I know since I don’t talk to ones I don’t know) and tell her, that her costume looks totally slutty and I won’t get uppercutted.
I’m not saying that I disagree, am offended or discourage the way ladies dress on Halloween. NOT AT ALL. I actually encourage this type of wardrobe. I’m just stating the way things are.
Now you’re probably saying “But Steven I don’t dress like a slut on Halloween, is there something wrong with me??” No, no there isn’t. Well maybe, I don’t know, I’m not a doctor. But it’s okay to not dress like a complete whore on Halloween. Really it is. You can dress “normal”, maybe a funny or clever costume, good for you. I’m not mad at it. BUT what I ask is don’t be that girl that dresses in the costume that scares the shit out of me. I don’t want to walk into the bar and be scared because I think there’s actually a zombie at the bar. That’s really cool you spent 2 hours making it look like your bleeding from the face! Especially considering were at a classy place like Cabo Catina where I just peed into a trough. I just want to drink, and be merry. At no time on my Halloween night do I want to wipe puss from your face off my costume because you walked by me. That’s a fact.
Halloween isn’t about being scared, it’s about getting drunk and trying not to embarrass yourself while dressed like an idiot. Anyone knows that. It’s science.
This blog was actually going to be about what kind of guy you would attract based on what slutty costume you dressed as, but I kind of got derailed, but I’ll throw a few in here at the end.
Cutting it short, passed my bed time. Maybe I’ll finish making fun of everyone’s costumes later this week.
What are you going to be for Halloween? Let me know so I can make fun of it.
I’ll be in Washington DC next week for work stuffs, anyone in DC that wants to celebrate like it’s our job on Halloween, let me know! Don’t know what I’m going to be yet, something I can pack in my suit case. Maybe a ghost? A sexy ghost? Well see.
One more thing, since you’re not paying or sleeping with me to continue to write these blogs the least you can do is invite you friends to join the facebook page. It’s the least you could.
Also starting a new thing, where I reverse stalk some random I don’t know who’s following the page. I mean they’re basically stalking me, they least I could do is photoshop them in some awkward situation. That’s why I need more random’s, as to not offend my “real friends”
Happy Halloween
PB Millionaire, Part 2
Posted by Single Steve in humor on May 20, 2009
I’m back. With a fury. Sorry for the delay. That thing called real life got in the way. But you’ll be happy to know that real life goes great, not that anyone of you actually cares.
So where was I? That’s right. King of the douche bags. PB Millionaire. You might want to read this blog, as a refresher as to who this tool bag is. But in summary, basically this guy invented some crappy safety glasses, made some money, lives in a “castle” in north PB, throws parties where he pays “models” to hang out with him, is trying to start a reality show based on him and calls himself PB Millionaire.
www.pbmillionaire.com
UPDATE: He has now changed his website and branding to: www.pbreality.com A little different, but still just as terrible.
Take a second. Soak it in. I’ll give you a minute to browser around and check out all the fantasticness of his site. Let me know when your ready for my analysis of The PB Millionaire.
…..
…..
…..
…..
And go.
I forgot how angry this guy makes me. So I don’t know about you, but initially when I tried to load the page, it came back with some type of error because it’s trying to play music in some wacky format my browser didn’t understand. Awesome? I consider myself a pretty savvy interweb user, so I was initially confused when I couldn’t load this guy’s sweet default music on his main page. Maybe he is so advanced, he is coding his webpage in the future? I tried in Mozilla, nope. Safari, nope. Only when I loaded his page up in Internet Explorer 6.0 did I get to experience his awesomely annoying default music. I should have just loaded up netscape 2.0 to see if this page would load more effectively in that browser.
PB Millionaire
P.S. doesn’t he know how fucking annoying it is to go to a website and have music automatically start playing!? If I went to google.com and music started to play every single time, I would punt my computer into the face of the guy that’s responsible for that code. I’m just saying, it would be pretty fucking annoying. And I’m pretty sure HE DOES NOT own rights to that song to have it playing his website.
Also,I have a correction, I thought PB millionaire stood for Pacific Beach Millionaire, it turns out it actually stands for Philanthropist Bachelor Millionaire. I don’t know what philanthropy he actually does, but well get into that later.
So he’s 43, and lives in a castle? I haven’t wanted to live in a castle since I was 7. Were they out of all the grown up houses? But I digress. Focus.
We’re going to make this an interactive blog. I’m going to walk you through his webpage, breaking it down, page by page, picture by picture, inch by inch, analyzing and sharing my thoughts on the PB Millionaire.
Please navigate to the first section “PB Millionaire”
This is the “In His Own Words….” section….
Please navigate to the “Angels” Section……
I don’t even know where to begin with the “Photo Gallery” section. There is just so much, maybe I’ll make it a separate blog. But in summary, there is something SUPER creepy about the photos. It’s him and 15 girls. It’s fun once. Gets to be weird the next 3 times. Sure it’s every guys fantasy to go out with 15 girls, I guess? Normal people have both, guy and girl friends. I guess guy hookers are harder to find? I joke….
Onto the videos. I hate him. So much.
Just watching his videos makes me want to punch babies. This first video:
Set’s the tone, he does an introduction, talks about how it’s gotten to that point that he can’t do anything without a secretary….he has 4 secretary’s!? I don’t even think the governor has 4 secretaries.
One of my favorite parts of the video occurs 1:14 into it.
“I solve my problems with money. Here. Now go away.”
Cool!!
1:48 – Why is he asking her “What is the naughtiest thing you’ve ever done?” WHAT!? I thought he was a philanthropist? Ohhh it’s for his sleezy millionaire girls calendar. Okay. That makes it okay to ask a girl half his age about the time she had sex on the hood of a car. Classy. Lucky for her, only 13 people have watched that video.
2:27 – “Who’s here to be in our calendar?” – PB Millionaire.
One girl, out of 10 raises her hand. Nice.
Video two:
[dailymotion id]
http://pbmillionaire.com/new_site/video_gallery.php?video_data=3&youtube=true
0:24 – “When you, ahhh, experience this, aaaah, technique I do, it pretty much makes your desires come true.” – PB Millionaire
I just vomited in my mouth. What the hell is he talking about!? What technique!?
I also found his secret youtube site!
Please enjoy these ridiculous awkward videos.
PB CASTLE- St. Patty Interview
0:04 – He is SOOOO awkward. Not even 4 seconds into the video and he has already made me feel uncomfortable. She asked you “Are you having fun yet!?” to which he responded with “Whaaaaat, what?”.
0:20 – Interupts himself off after he starts talking about how he “just works here”, with “soo how you doing?” She seems confused by his answers, and awkward questions.
0:55 – He turns into a jerk. And forgets how to interact with humans.
1:13 – “Wasn’t that a great interview” – PB Millionaire
PB CASTLE- St. Patty Interview 2
0:06 – At least you made it 6 seconds this time before you became completely weird. What the hell are you doing!? You’re throwing the host off. Please pay attention.
0:12 - “I just work here” – PB Millionaire
Oh my god. Please stop saying that. It’s not funny anymore.
0:22 – When smoker red head is asked about the party, her response is “we just got here”. What an interesting interview. This house is just filled with interesting people.
0:56 – After threatening how lucky the interviewer is to be there, he proclaims again “I just work here….”.I blame the interviewer for laughing the first time, letting him think it was okay to use that “joke” over and over an over.
Mostly the youtube videos are from the Super Bowl party. The interviews are done by a loud burnette named Parker, who seems to lack the ability to ask questions people understand. Here’s my favorite interview of the night:
Super Bowl Party Interview Luke
Acid is a hell of drug.
Finishing up strong on his website, on his charities page. It just seems like he typed in the word “Charity” into google and these were the top 4 that popped up. I mean these are great charities, but they just seem so generic to be his “passion” for giving back. For the record. It’s great that he gives money, and yada yada, but unless he is actually donating his time and doing something, I wouldn’t consider him a philanthropist. I do ten times more outreach/philanthropy than this guy. I’m not bragging, it’s just a fact. Nor am I trying to sell myself as this single philanthropist. Though I could….
Maybe I should buy www.PBAlmostMillionaire.com.
I leave you with this. An actually picture from our friend, the PB Millionaire.
PB Millionaire if you’re r reading this….let’s be friends?
PB Millionaire: Part 1
Posted by Single Steve in humor on April 8, 2009
Let me start off by saying I am ridiculously excited about this series of blogs that is about to occur. I am literally, literally hyper ventilating about the cynical thoughts that about to come out my brain, down my fingers and into your computer screen.
Jim Lawlor
Why am I so excited you ask? Well, let me introduce you to Jim Lawlor.
Seems like a normal enough guy right? Okay okay. NOW please direct your browsers to www.PBMillionaire.com.
UPDATE: He has now changed his website and branding to: www.pbreality.com A little different, but still just as terrible.
Take a second. Soak it in. I’ll give you a minute to browser around and check out all the fantasticness of his site. Let me know when your ready for my analysis of The PB Millionaire.
<waiting>
<waiting>
<waiting>
Yep. That just happened. NO I didn’t make up this website, post ridiculous fake pictures, make up a ridiculous back story about a fake millionaire douche bag, who lives in a castle in PB for the purposes of this blog. Though it might appear that way, I promise you this guy is 100 percent real. Well, real in the sense, that he’s a real douche.
There’s just so much to talk to, where to start. I think I’m going to have to do this in a 2 parts. This first blog is going to be just about the PB Millionaire himself, his glorious invention, his 11 friends on myspace, and other stalkerish things I can find out about him.
Part two will be about the website it self, taking a deep dive into the videos and photos on the webpage.
So I guess I do a summary of this guy to get us all on the same page.
Summary:
Apparently this guy invented something, became a millionaire. Bought a castle in PB. And now he spends his time throwing lavish parties and outings with hookers, I mean models.. He also had a “website designed with the intention of improving my social life, overcoming my shyness, and possibly creating a buzz for a prospective reality show.” Wow…..
Before I even began my analysis of his website, I did my homework. Hardcore. I researched, like a creep, anything and everything there was to know about the PB millionaire, so I could come in and make a fair analysis of his situation. I just didn’t want to base my opinion on his one shitty website. Maybe he just had a bad web master, who portrayed him to be a douche bag. It turns out quite the opposite. Who ever does his web design, videographer and photography are fucking miracle workers. Believe it or not, this guy is WORST than what he appears to be on this finely polished website.
My thoughts of PB Millionaire:
First of all, oh my fucking god, are you serious. Secondly, no seriously, are you fucking serious? For those of you that don’t know Jim Lawlor as intimately as I do, let me fill you on some history. At some point Jim invented something and became a “Millionaire”, it’s unclear if he’s always been a douche, or became one after he became “rich”. You’re probably wondering, what fantastic invention did he invent!? Was it something to better mankind, peace on earth, maybe a cure for cancer? Maybe it was something complicated, involving cold fusion or sharks with lasers?
Nope. He “invented” spray goggles. Yep. Spray goggles that have a film over the lenses. So when you vision gets blocked by paint on your goggles, you turn a crank and pull over a new clean film over your lenses. See http://www.safetyamerica.com/
I mean sure it’s a good idea, and probably got some practical use, but someone can actually become a “millionaire” from something as terrible as this? Whatever. Fine, so he sells these things on his 1996 looking website, and has enough to buy a castle in PB. How he sells anything on that website is baffling.
After my stalker research I found out his address and it turns out he doesn’t even live in PB. I’m not going to give his actual address because that might be a bit much.
That’s not PB. Don’t kid yourself. According to google you live in a place called Jolla Mesa. And google is never wrong. Never.
Continuing my stalking I found his facebook fan page, with a grand total of 3 fans and his myspace with a whooping 11 friends. I may or may not have over 350 fans of my blog on facebook and 677 friends on myspace. I’m just saying. That doesn’t make me better than him, but it does. And let’s be honest. People have friends for a reason. When someone doesn’t have any friends on a social network it’s probably because no one likes them enough to be friends, even in cyberspace. Which is rough, because the interweb lets all kinds of people that wouldn’t be friends be friends.
According to his myspace he’s 43. Dude, you’re too old for PB. Was RanchoBernardoMillionaire.com already taken? I think its at 32 years old, when PB bars actually stop letting you in. It’s not okay for you to be in PB anymore. Stop. You’re the creepy old guy. I’m 25 and I’m almost too old for PB.
Speaking of myspace. Click on this link if you dare:
An actual photo from his myspace pics
I just threw up in my mouth. Just a little.
This was just part one, a pretense to the actual blog. Part two is coming soon, fully exploring his website, and some gems of youtube videos I found on him. Get excited.
Here it is…..
PB Millionaire, Part 2
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