What is Tinder!?
And I assume you’re asking because you’re in a relationship, or single and not hip to technology, well my friends, it’s the most addicting, judgmental, shallow app available on smart phones today. Think old school HotOrNot.com circa 2002, where you and your high school idiot guy friends would crowd around a single computer in technology class and proceed to judge the physical attractiveness of random strangers on the internet based on a single photo. Either they were hot, or they were not. It was great. You and you alone had the power, to judge the shit out random strangers on the internet. Flash forward 10 years, same concept, except now if you rate someone as hot, and they also rate you as hot, you now have the ability to send them a message. We did it! We put a man on the moon, and now we found a way to get matched with random strangers with a single swipe.
Okay, so how it really works is, as soon as you start up the app, it requires you to sync up with your facebook account. So no facebook, no tinder. But people without facebooks, shouldn’t be dating anyways. There’s probably a reason they’re not on facebook, and there’s probably a reason why their genetics should not be passed on. JUST KIDDING, but seriously, they’re probably weird. Anyways, you need a facebook account in order to use Tinder. Tinder uses up to 5 of your real facebook pictures that you select, and you have the ability to type free-text in an about me type of section. Although I’d say more than 75% of the women leave it blank, or with some shitty quote. I only say it’s a shitty quote because it’s not really of any value when I’m trying to evaluate if I want to mate with you or not. But we’ll talk about that in a bit. So you have 5 pictures and an about me section, and BOOM, you’re good to go. Time to start Tinder-ing. When you open the app up, it uses your geo-location to only find girls within in a certain radius to you, up to 100 miles. You can also set an age range. Mine is set from 26-34, and anyone within 40 miles. It’s all so magical, it opens up, it shows your location and then it starts crunching the numbers and soon enough your matches are delivered straight to your phone. Time to start judging. If you like what you see, you swipe right, if you don’t like what you see, you swipe left. Pretty simple.
Another thing that Tinder does, is that it shows you what Facebook likes you have in common, for example if you both like Miley Cyrus’ Facebook Page, it will show you that you have that in common.
I have seen a few AWESOME occasions of someone that likes Single Steve on facebook.
It also shows how many common friends you may have in common.
Then there’s that time you get matched up with your friend, awkwaaaard. She doesn’t want to date you in real life, and she doesn’t want to date you in cyber space either.
And if you swipe right on her picture, and she swipes right on yours, THEN you both get a notification saying you’ve been matched and now you can internally message her through this app. It’s glorious. Or at least it sounds like it should be in theory. This may come as a shock to you, are you ready? Are you sitting down? I haven’t been on any Tinder dates yet. I know, I’m just as shocked as you are. And here comes another shocker, I rarely/never get matches. I’ve only been matched up with spam bots.
And the only person I message on Tinder is my friend Shannon, because she also knows the ridiculousness of Tinder. Below is our mature conversation.
This was just my intro to Tinder. Next blog will be “Women: How not to Tinder” or something like that. Basically, my opinions and interpretations of some of the ridiculous profiles on tinder.
Read the next blog in the series:
Women on Tinder: What Not To Do