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What is Tinder? And why it’s ridiculous

What is Tinder!?

And I assume you’re asking because you’re in a relationship, or single and not hip to technology, well my friends, it’s the most addicting, judgmental, shallow app available on smart phones today. Think old school HotOrNot.com circa 2002, where you and your high school idiot guy friends would crowd around a single computer in technology class and proceed to judge the physical attractiveness of random strangers on the internet based on a single photo. Either they were hot, or they were not. It was great.  You and you alone had the power, to judge the shit out random strangers on the internet. Flash forward 10 years,  same concept, except now if you rate someone as hot, and they also rate you as hot, you now have the ability to send them a message. We did it! We put a man on the moon, and now we found a way to get matched with random strangers with a single swipe.

Okay, so how it really works is, as soon as you start up the app, it requires you to sync up with your facebook account.  So no facebook, no tinder.  But people without facebooks, shouldn’t be dating anyways. There’s probably a reason they’re not on facebook, and there’s probably a reason why their genetics should not be passed on. JUST KIDDING, but seriously, they’re probably weird. Anyways, you need a facebook account in order to use Tinder. Tinder uses up to 5 of your real facebook pictures that you select, and you have the ability to type free-text in an about me type of section. Although I’d say more than 75% of the women leave it blank, or with some shitty quote. I only say it’s a shitty quote because it’s not really of any value when I’m trying to evaluate if I want to mate with you or not. But we’ll talk about that in a bit. So you have 5 pictures and an about me section, and BOOM, you’re good to go. Time to start Tinder-ing.  When you open the app up, it uses your geo-location to only find girls within in a certain radius to you, up to 100 miles. You can also set an age range. Mine is set from 26-34, and anyone within 40 miles. It’s all so magical, it opens up, it shows your location and then it starts crunching the numbers and soon enough your matches are delivered straight to your phone. Time to start judging. If you like what you see, you swipe right, if you don’t like what you see, you swipe left.  Pretty simple.

swipe tinder
Another thing that Tinder does, is that it shows you what Facebook likes you have in common, for example if you both like Miley Cyrus’ Facebook Page, it will show you that you have that in common.
I have seen a few AWESOME occasions of someone that likes Single Steve on facebook.
single steve fan
It also shows how many common friends you may have in common.
Then there’s that time you get matched up with your friend, awkwaaaard. She doesn’t want to date you in real life, and she doesn’t want to date you in cyber space either.
Tinder BFF
And if you swipe right on her picture, and she swipes right on yours, THEN you both get a notification saying you’ve been matched and now you can internally message her through this app.   It’s glorious. Or at least it sounds like it should be in theory.  This may come as a shock to you, are you ready? Are you sitting down? I haven’t been on any Tinder dates yet.  I know, I’m just as shocked as you are. And here comes another shocker, I rarely/never get matches. I’ve only been matched up with spam bots.
Tinder BFF

And the only person I message on Tinder is my friend Shannon, because she also knows the ridiculousness of Tinder.  Below is our mature conversation.
tinder dicks
This was just my intro to Tinder. Next blog will be “Women: How not to Tinder” or something like that. Basically, my opinions and interpretations of some of the ridiculous profiles on tinder.

For example:
tinder baby
New blog next week.
Does anyone have any good, bad or hilarious stories from Tinder? Comment and let me know, always looking to hear and share other peoples stories.

Read the next blog in the series:
Women on Tinder: What Not To Do

 



Comments
  • Trojan November 13, 2013 at 9:18 pm

    There are some really creepy dudes on there.
    I should elaborate….
    A fun situation (for all) is to politely ask for a female acquaintance’s Tinder app and start “liking” everyone and see what sort of weird shit they say back to you…no wait, her. I’m not going to admit a few of us got a couple random creepy dudes to go to some random bar where the alleged drunken Tinder-girl was waiting for said creepy dudes to collect their mate like some caveman, but I can imagine what it would be like if I did.

    • Single Steve November 14, 2013 at 2:49 am

      THIS. This sounds like a great idea for blog….I bet guys on Tinder are even more ridiculous than some of the women’s profiles I’ve seen.

  • Pamela November 18, 2013 at 6:19 pm

    Google Tinder Froyo. You’re welcome :)

    • Single Steve November 18, 2013 at 8:12 pm

      That.is.Awesome. Why didn’t I think of that…

  • Mel November 18, 2013 at 6:52 pm

    TY! Almost hurt myself laughing so hard… great writing, Steve!

  • Margot December 23, 2013 at 10:34 pm

    Well realistically, since my meeting just ended and I was bored before going home, I decided to take a look at this page again, since I haven’t had a phone call from you for a while, as well as because, to quote one of your other many fans out here Steve, occasionally, you really can make me laugh as well.. Yet to also quote you, sometimes you are most definitely an egomaniac.. although these are all part of the numerous aspects that I’ve only just been learning about you, only by reading your pages. Yet then, I also NEVER EVER had any idea realistically that you’ve been involved with so very many other women, all while you were calling me each and every day, and sometimes, as much as six times a day as well as also constantly leaving me messages on line, and also even on my telephone answering machine that I was your soul mate. And even if you now seem to have found others, whom you’re claiming are instead of me Steve, I think I would just really like you to know, that I’m definitely sorry that we never did get to know each other better back in high school. You are hilarious at times, as well as also, a tremendously talented writer.. and as someone who was always an editor of every writers’ journal at every school I went to, I know good writing.As well as sometimes, you really are quite hilarious. And then, I’ve also never know that you’re now from Tuscon, Arizona, as well as also San Diego, CA. Yet have no fears and, I’ve got no intensions to show up at either place, or stalk you, even if I also really do have family and friends from both. I’ve already made other plans for my vacation time and will be visiting my own family on Longboat Key, as well as in San Francisco. Yet I really had also never had any idea whatsoever that you’ve even known this many women Steve, as well as also had so very many other “soul mates”. For some reason, I’d honestly always just believed that you’ve really got one, unless of course, they pass away, and then by some incredible stroke of good fortune, another one might come along, who not only tells you repeatedly that you’re their soul mate.. they’ve also even got the exact same first name as well as are even much better looking…. as you did and are. And although I’m not really even sure if I should expect to hear back back from you again, as I also told you earlier this morning, as well as also last night, I’d like to remain your friend and, who knows what could honestly happen. Yet I really am floored by the astronomical number of women whom you know and honestly, expect nothing now that I know that. Merry Christmas. Love, Margot

  • Getty February 21, 2014 at 12:05 am

    There was a BBC documentary in England about online dating websites. They are ALL a scam – they scam registered users with bogus profiles of people who don’t exist. I set up a dummy Match profile – no photo, no information (just blank) – so I could have a look and decide if I want to register. Every day, I was receiving ‘winks’ and being favourited by countless men. Yet my profile was completely and utterly blank! It gets worse when you’re middle-aged coz no one wants you – not even the bogus profiles!!! Good luck. You are utterly hilarious and I’m happy I stumbled upon you. Here’s the documentary: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_OI7f3j41k

  • Singles Warehouse Online Dating Magazine March 21, 2014 at 8:45 am

    Thanks so much for this article – we just wanted to let you know we’ve included it in the top 2000 best dating articles online. Check out there rest at http://bit.ly/1il3YMr

  • Post a comment

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